What 1,682 people told us they look for in a soulmate
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Before discovering their soulmate portrait on Profondio, each person answers about thirty questions about themselves, their love life and the person they hope for. We counted these answers, without any names, for 1,682 people. Here is what they say. You may recognize yourself in them.
Who answered
This is not a survey of the whole population. These are people who came of their own accord to have a reading, almost all of them in France. They are mostly women, 86 out of 100. And they have mostly lived: 87% are 45 or older. So these numbers speak first of all about people who have already loved, sometimes suffered, and who know what they no longer want.
Loyalty comes before everything else
We asked which qualities the person they hope for must have, three at most. Loyalty comes far ahead: 61% choose it. Then come kindness, for 46%, and reliability, for 27%. Passion only comes after that, with 16%. Financial stability, which people talk about so much, is chosen by only 9%.
The message is clear. After a certain number of years, we don't first look for someone who makes our heart race. We look for someone we can count on, who stays when things get hard, and who is gentle day to day.
What attracts us first
To the question “What attracts you first in someone?”, three answers share almost equally close to three quarters of the votes: instant chemistry (25%), shared values (24%) and emotional depth (23%). Physical attraction comes after, with 16%, then a sense of humour with 12%. Ambition counts for only one person in a hundred.
In other words, love at first sight and a good head on one's shoulders carry the same weight. Many want to feel something right away, but almost as many first want to know whether the other person thinks the way they do.
A wait that has often lasted a long time
Today, 30% say they are single and find it hard. 18% are single and are fine with it. 21% describe a complicated situation, and 6% are going through a breakup. But the number that struck us most is this one: 24%, almost one person in four, are in a relationship and yet feel alone.
And this is nothing new. For 45% of them, the situation has lasted more than five years. When we ask them what comes up most in their love life, 42% answer “finding someone who truly suits me”. Next comes “opening my heart to trust”, for 27%, then “letting go of the past”, for 12%.
The fears we don't always dare to say
We also asked what is most frightening when thinking about what comes next. Ending up alone comes first, with 28%, just ahead of time passing, with 27%. Living the same story all over again worries 16% of people, and settling for someone by default, 11%. Only one person in a hundred fears never starting a family, which is understandable: 61% already have children.
Good news all the same: 17% answer “none of these”. You can look for love without being afraid.
The same age, and a close relationship
More than half, 51%, picture their soulmate as about their own age. 20% see them as younger, 14% as older, and 15% say age matters little to them.
As for the ideal relationship, the most chosen answer is “close, truly connected”, for 32%. Next come “peaceful and stable”, for 20%, and “passionate, full of sparks”, for 18%. We find the same idea as with the qualities: what matters most is truly being together, not just being two.
Meetings written in advance?
Finally, we asked whether some meetings are meant to be. 68% answer yes, and 20% say they are curious. Only 12% say it's not their thing. For most of them, a soulmate is not just a figure of speech: it is a person who exists somewhere, and whom we will end up crossing paths with.
What you can take from this for yourself
These numbers don't tell you who you should love. They can help you ask yourself three simple questions. What really matters to you in another person, beyond the first impression? What do you never want to live through again? And are you ready to let someone new in, even if last time hurt?
If you want to see what the person who matches your own answers looks like, you can take the soulmate questionnaire. And if you already have someone in mind, you can see how compatible you are.
How we counted
The numbers come from the answers given to the soulmate questionnaire between September and the end of October 2026. Each person counts only once, and no answer is linked to a name or an email address. Not everyone answers every question, so each percentage is calculated on the people who answered it, then rounded. For the qualities, everyone could choose up to three, so the total is more than 100%.
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